Who so ever think for the things you do not want to happen? Especially when you are in the peak of excitement, or happiness that you and your behalf will be together at last, after many nights or days longing to be in each other arms. The only thing that we wish is to be side by side, together resolving problems that might come, or hand in hand facing any storm to come. We don’t hope for richness, but only God to lead us to have, maybe not a perfect home, but a family whom Jesus is the foundation.
Right now, I know and already understand why this thing happened between me and my husband, but my heart is struggling to realize it. Anyone could blame me if my heart denying it? I never expect this thing. We both are excited with the day of my arrival to his own place. He is or was excited to show me his way of living, his beautiful place with beautiful people he lived with.
Looking back, we were so amazed with things happened to our lives. It was seems unbelievable for us that after so many years of waiting and wanting to each other, love moves for us with the blessings of our Almighty God. We were so happy that it seems only me and him existing in this world. We don’t mind what other people say about our extra sweetness, and vocal on what we felt for each other. He loves me. I love him. We love each other unconditionally.
When we are together, everyone seems looking at us, because they saw how love is too obvious in our faces. We don’t see ugly things in our surrounding. Always are beautiful to us. Rain seems sunshine, and night is like a day. There are no storms, just rainbows. No dark sky, but with stars hanging to shine our world. Only lovely things we have seen through a colorful sky in our own small world, not until the storm comes across the rainbow. Everything has changed. The world is so dark, except a lit shines at the end of the tunnel. It is the light of God assured me to follow it, and be out from this dark world.
The storm is over the rainbow. It covers its beautiful colors of red, or orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo or violet? What a beautiful spectrum of colors that suddenly vanish because on a kind of storm. But storm is so natural. God controls it. He let it to happen to renew the beauty of the earth. Is God wants to renew me also? Who can ask Him, when you knew that He will never be mistaken, or if you know that He is a perfect God? There is always a purpose that I might not have seen it right now. Yet, ahead of time there is a light at the end of the darkness.
It is a strong storm that covers our rainbow. Colors are become black that seems no bright reflection at all. Sun was hidden, even the stars in the night are nowhere. My heart is so pale, and grieving even I know, everything is temporary. I never know when our rainbow will come again. God is just watching me, with my husband looking down at me too. God know when to stop my tears, and it comfort me somehow that my beloved behalf is perfectly happy with him. Happiness that no one can give, even me but God. His arms are wide open accepting Mike in heaven. How my heart aches when I know he is in the perfect place? Am I too selfish?
Time heals, and am willing to wait that moment when God make my heart happy again. If when He will let my heart sings again, or to see that beautiful rainbow with an awe of His greatness. Let my heart mourning, just I let the storm passes through my sky. Let my tears rain just when the sky waters the dry land. After this storm over our rainbow, beautiful sky ways will appear in the wilderness.
God understands everything that happened to me, yet my heart is too broken to accept the reality. But He will mend it, through His grace and mercy. No one can tell, just Him to when to stop the storm over the rainbow that me and my husband had. No one can tell. God bless.