In my previous posting, I was talking about pain, and hardship. Somehow it’s not about complaining anything; it is my speaking on how I handle difficulties, with God by my side. And likewise, a dispersal of so much distress in my heart and soul.
I never want to spoil God’s goodness in my life, and just buried them to be forgotten, by not saying, on how He works for me. Even though the kindness of my friends and family, who were there for me to survive. My overwhelming gratitude, to them would always remind me, how blessed I am, in the midst of my suffering. It is now the time for counting blessings, with God’s provisions to my needs.
Every person, there is what they called a hero on their lives; one who rescue someone, from the situation that it seems, impossible to go through, on the discouraging road of loneliness, and or suffering. Someone who can provide, what one needs right away, not only in material but also a moral support. Am speaking about, an immediate needs that will strengthen someone, to pass through the bridge, going to a better life.
Every corner of our life, we’ll meet people whom will make history within us, whether it is bad or good. Each of them has a purpose for us to learn, which give us choices to make in our life, and what us want to become. We can grow base on our thinking, and or with the contribution of influences on the people surrounded me, you or us. Still individual of us is responsible for our own life. People comes in our ways are God’s channels in giving us wisdom to decide the best.
When I choose to live with Jacque and her family, who were completely strangers to me, I know in my heart that some will question why? Why I don’t live with the people whom I know, and or can speak the same language like mine? My answer is, it’s because my heart knew that it is best for me, spiritually, emotionally and physically.
When my husband passed away, my life was been in so much trouble. I’ve no place to stay that made me move from one place to another, no money to survive, and worst I was entering different churches, which I knew it is unhealthy to my spiritual life. Having God in my heart and mine is the only stronghold I got in my life, which I do not want to mess up. Am not saying that my church is better that the others, but I know exactly where my heart is comfortable and at peace. A church that made me feel at home.
With Jacque anyhow, it seems I found a security blanket to keep me covered and safe. I am emotionally insecure, thus what I needed is an emotional blanket, in which her family is providing me. I laugh with them. Provided what I needed financially, physically, and even giving me a ride going to church, which more than I could ask for. Some might misunderstood me, and or my decision. But maybe my heart has it’s own eyes, which had seen the truth about the people I live with. Their kind hearts and open mindlessness, are an awesome characteristics that some have not seen in them. Yeah, it’s true they are white and not brown, blue eyes and not have brown eyes like mine, but I surely convince that God chosen them for me to have with. To be with while I am in the wilderness.
They are my knights in a shining armor, whom my God sent to rescue me, from my struggle. Surely, I am still in pain, but their comfort in me and support made me stronger. Their love, their concern over me and cares are enough reasons for me to be willingly move on. Not forgetting the happy memories I had with my husband, but to look forward, and live for the future, inspired by a happy history with my behalf.
I am so lucky and blessed for meeting Jacque. Someone whom you can rely on for better or worse. A friend who will stand for you, who will fight for you, when you can’t. To speak for you, when you have no words to say. A kind who love me as family, regardless of my color, my background or belief.
All of these things somehow are God’s plans for me, before He took my husband home. He ready my way, the people, especially the fact on how God uses grandpas life for me. I am perfectly amazed with the scenario on what had happened in my life. I have no complain about it, but thankful to God for everything. Maybe, I cried with the pain in losing my husband. But it is the reason of missing and longing for him, because of the unfulfilled dreams we had together. However, God knew better than I am, and all things work together for good.
Before I will end, I want to pass these sayings to any reader. This also inspired me, every now and then. “I cried because I have no new shoes, till I saw a man who had no right foot.”